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"My business? I am a simple watchman."
You
become the center of the cyclone.

You
will see a mad mind inside.
The very phenomenon of watching it changes it. Slowly, slowly the
madman disappears.
The
fourth is the ultimate awareness that makes one awakened. One becomes
aware of one's awareness.
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Meditation is
adventure, the greatest adventure the human mind can undertake.
Meditation is just to be, not doing anything - no action, no thought, no
emotion. You just are and it is a sheer delight. From where does this
delight come when you are not doing anything? It comes from nowhere, or
it comes from everywhere. It is uncaused, because existence is made of
the stuff called joy.
When you are not
doing anything at all - bodily, mentally, on no level - when all
activity has ceased and you simply are, just being, that's what
meditation is. You cannot do it, you cannot practice it; you have only
to understand it. Whenever you can find time for just being, drop all
doing. Thinking is also doing, concentration is also doing,
contemplation is also doing. Even if for a single moment you are not
doing anything and you are just at your center, utterly relaxed - that
is meditation. And once you have got the knack of it, you can remain in
that state as long as you want; finally you can remain in that state for
twenty-four hours a day.
Once you have become
aware of the way your being can remain undisturbed, then slowly you can
start doing things, keeping alert that your being is not stirred. That
is the second part of meditation - first, learning how just to be, and
then learning little actions; cleaning the floor, taking a shower, but
keeping yourself centered. Then you can do complicated things. For
example, I am speaking to you, but my meditation is not disturbed. I
can go on speaking, but at my very center there is not even a ripple; it
is just silent, utterly silent.
So, meditation is
not against action. It is not that you have to escape from life. It
simply teaches you a new way of life; you become the center of the
cyclone. Your life goes on, it goes on really more intensely - with
more joy, with more clarity, more vision, more creativity - yet you are
aloof, just a watcher on the hills, simply seeing all that is happening
around you. You are not the doer, you are the watcher. That's the
whole secret of meditation, that you become the watcher. Doing
continues on its own level. There is no problem; chopping wood, drawing
water from the well. You can do small and big things; only one thing is
not allowed and that is, your centering should not be lost. That
awareness, that watchfulness, should remain absolutely unclouded,
undisturbed.
In Judaism there is
a rebellious school of mystery called Hassidism. Its founder, Baal
Shem, was a rare being. In the middle of the night he was coming from
the river - that was his routine, because at the river in the night it
was absolutely calm and quiet.
And he used to
simply sit there, doing nothing - just watching his own self, watching
the watcher. This night when he was coming back, he passed a rich man's
house and the watchman was standing by the door. And the watchman was
puzzled because every night at exactly this time, this man would come
back. He came out and he said, "Forgive me for interrupting but I
cannot contain my curiosity anymore.
You are haunting me
day and night, every day. What is your business?
Why do you go to the
river? Many times I have followed you, and there is nothing - you
simply sit there for hours, and in the middle of the night you come
back."
Baal Shem said, "I
know that you have followed me many times, because the night is so
silent I can hear your footsteps. And I know every day you are hiding
behind the gate. But it is not only that you are curious about me, I am
also curious about you. What is your business?" He said, "My
business? I am a simple watchman."
Baal Shem said, "My
God, you have given me the key word.
This is my business
too!" The watchman said, "But I don't understand. If you are a
watchman you should be watching some house, some palace. What are you
watching there, sitting in the sand?"
Baal Shem said,
"There is a little difference: you are watching for somebody outside who
may enter the palace; I simply watch this watcher. Who is this
watcher? This is my whole life's effort; I watch myself." The watchman
said, "But this is a strange business.
Who is going to pay
you?" He said, "It is such bliss, such a joy, such immense benediction,
it pays itself profoundly. Just a single moment, and all the treasures
are nothing in comparison to it."
The watchman said,
"This is strange. I have been watching my whole life.
I never came across
such a beautiful experience. Tomorrow night I am coming with you. Just
teach me. Because I know how to watch - it seems only a different
direction is needed; you are watching in some different direction."
There is only one
step, and that step is of direction, of dimension. Either we can be
focused outside or we can close our eyes to the outside, and let our
whole consciousness be centered inwards - and you will know, because you
are a knower, you are awareness. You have never lost it. You simply
got your awareness entangled in a thousand and one things. Withdraw
your awareness from everywhere and just let it rest within yourself, and
you have arrived home.
But can't you see a
witness who is seeing both? - the crow, the listener, and still there is
someone who is watching both. It is such a simple phenomenon. You are
seeing a tree; you are there, the tree is there, but can't you find one
thing more? - that you are seeing the tree, that there is a witness in
you which is seeing you seeing the tree.
Watching is
meditation. What you watch is irrelevant. You can watch the trees, you
can watch the river, you can watch the clouds, you can watch children
playing around. Watching is meditation.
What you watch is
not the point; the object is not the point.
The quality of
observation, the quality of being aware and alert - that's what
meditation is.
Remember one thing:
meditation means awareness. Whatsoever you do with awareness is
meditation. Action is not the question, but the quality that you bring
to your action. Walking can be a meditation if you walk alert. Sitting
can be a meditation if you sit alert.
Listening to the
birds can be a meditation if you listen with awareness.
Just listening to
the inner noise of your mind can be a meditation if you remain alert and
watchful. The whole point is, one should not move into sleep. Then
whatsoever you do is meditation.
The first step in
awareness is to be very watchful of your body. Slowly, slowly one
becomes alert about each gesture, each movement.
And as you become
aware, a miracle starts happening; many things that you used to do
before simply disappear; your body becomes more relaxed, your body
becomes more attuned. A deep peace starts prevailing even in your body,
a subtle music pulsates in your body.
Then start becoming
aware of your thoughts; the same has to be done with thoughts. They are
more subtle than the body and of course, more dangerous too. And when
you become aware of your thoughts, you will be surprised what goes on
inside you. If you write down whatsoever is going on at any moment, you
are in for a great surprise.
You will not believe
that this is what is going on inside you. And after ten minutes read it
- you will see a mad mind inside!
Because we are not
aware, this whole madness goes on running like an under-current. It
affects whatsoever you are doing, it affects whatsoever you are not
doing; it affects everything. And the sum total of it is going to be
your life! So this madman has to be changed.
And the miracle of
awareness is that you need not do anything except just become aware.
The very phenomenon
of watching it changes it. Slowly, slowly the madman disappears,
slowly, slowly the thoughts start falling into a certain pattern; their
chaos is no more, they become more of a cosmos. And then again, a
deeper peace prevails. And when your body and your mind are at peace
you will see that they are attuned to each other too, there is a
bridge. Now they are not running in different directions, they are not
riding different horses. For the first time there is accord, and that
accord helps immensely to work on the third step - that is becoming
aware of your feelings, emotions, moods.
That is the subtlest
layer and the most difficult, but if you can be aware of the thoughts
then it is just one step more. A little more intense awareness is
needed and you start reflecting your moods, your emotions, your
feelings. Once you are aware of all these three they all become joined
into one phenomenon. And when all these three are one - functioning
together perfectly, humming together, you can feel the music of all the
three; they have become an orchestra - then the fourth happens, which
you cannot do. It happens on its own accord. It is a gift from the
whole, it is a reward for those who have done these three.
And the fourth is
the ultimate awareness that makes one awakened.
One becomes aware of
one's awareness - that is the fourth. That makes a Buddha, the
awakened. And only in that awakening does one come to know what bliss
is. The body knows pleasure, the mind knows happiness, the heart knows
joy, the fourth knows bliss. Bliss is the goal of sannyas, of being a
seeker, and awareness is the path towards it.
The important thing
is that you are watchful, that you have not forgotten to watch, that you
are watching....watching....watching.
And slowly, slowly,
as the watcher becomes more and more solid, stable, unwavering, a
transformation happens. The things that you were watching disappear.
For the first time, the watcher itself becomes the watched, the observer
itself becomes the observed.
You have come home. |